Angus and I recently saw how to be even kinder to each other. We are experiencing a new level of patience and understanding between us. This happened after a challenging conversation where we both took what the other person was saying personally and felt hurt. …

When we want to be understood the most by our partner, we often behave in ways that make it hard for us to be understood. It is not our hurt that makes relationships hard. …

I often forget that I am living in the feeling of my thinking. In fact, I can just plain forget that I am thinking and listening to my internal narrative all day long. This invisible narrative is frequently one of pressure. When I buy into it, I feel an inner…

Clinicians and researchers Drs. John and Julie Gottman identify three universal factors that make or break relationships and predict whether couples will stay together happily or not. These factors are: Staying curious about each other. Sharing fondness and admiration. Responding to bids for connection by turning toward, rather than turning…

I didn’t realize that the gift in relationships is what you give, not what you get. Initially, it felt like I was getting a lot from my relationship with Angus. I felt loved and appreciated, and I thought he was giving me this experience. I didn’t realize that the love…

Have you ever not realized you were in a low mood? Have you had the experience of feeling like you were thinking straight only to realize later that you weren’t? Have you become comfortable with the feeling of being in low-grade suffering, thinking it is normal? I have had all…

I received a kind, thoughtful email a while back from a reader who asked me to remove an asterisked expletive from my blog post. The logic was fair. The curse wasn’t essential, and I could have worded my sentence differently. But something didn’t feel right inside of me. After reading…

We are designed for love. We are born to be in relationship with one another. We are social beings who are naturally generous, kind, and empathic. But survival is always going to be primary, and we do what we need to do to feel safe and to survive emotionally, especially…

What makes relationships work? You have the answer. It starts with your well-being. I can hear the buts… But my partner is this… But my partner does that… But he/she/they need to… It is easy to focus on needing things or people to be a certain way to be happy. …